Friday, June 19, 2015

How did I know gun peeps would demand guns in church?

My lyrics are weirdly prescient about world events sometimes. Here, my fake outrage about not being able to bring guns to places of worship, pre-echoing the fun NRA guy's assertion that the shooting in Charleston could have been prevented if only those dang liberals hadn't opposed letting peeps carry guns in church...


We released the album that includes this song in February 2014.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a link to an article re the NRA board member's comments:
NRA Board Member Blames Church Pastor For Charleston Shooting

Am I capitalizing on tragedy? Well, I don't see myself making money on this, so in that sense, no.
But maybe peeps should listen to my songs & worry more abut the world around them! I worry, why not you?! Look at all the good it does me! AAAAAAAAAGH!

On September 3, 2001, my old band released the song "The AttaQ" to the world via our first show. It contained these lyrics:

We did it for Allah
The white place down...
White place, falling down...
and I'm prepared to meet the man upstairs...
I'm almost there, I'm almost there
[accompanied by a sound like a plane flying]

Um, yeah. Also, I've put curses on people via song before (intentionally? un-? maybe not consciously...).

As for if this power is worth money, you tell me, world. Hint hint.

P.S. I'm fine with people having guns under certain conditions-- like the condition of not being a terrorist.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Our new book on energy & success: Napoleon Never Slept



"What do Steve Jobs, Sam Walton, Napoleon, and Alexander the Great have in common? How to generate emotional energy in oneself and others." It's real sociology, so it's more than a cut above the herd of success-ology books out there.

Yes, my Dad/co-author and I have been working on this for over a year. Didn't think I had it in me, did you?!

We're publishing this first just as an ebook, though we'll have a print version available soon.

Go get your success, darlings.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Movie review! "Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay"


Why is this labeled "Horror"? Nothing scary, no blood, very little of anything except molasses-slow softcore scenes. I guess if you have anything even remotely witch-related, it must be "Horror." And Netflix often does a good job of predicting what I'll like, but the algorithm must have been sick that day, because, well, No. I like many foreign films, and I love a lot of horror, but this is just a lot of pretty women with nice hair cooing at each other. I want my imaginary money back.

P.S. The "dwarf" they promised isn't even.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Dear Anti-Vaxxers,

The air you breathe is full of pollutants!

Water is the number one cause of drowning!

And smoke detectors make a beeping sound that will alarm you!

So you'd better avoid all those things.

Sincerely,
Me

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Stories SO short...

...I almost feel silly posting them on here, that's how short some of my "stories" are. So I'm starting to post some of them on my tumblr, because they are just SO short. There might be non-stories there, too, so watch your feet and hands, don't want to lose any little fingers.

Feel free to visit...
I'll Be Popular When I'm Dead 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Yes, boy, ma'am

"That's just how little of anything there is."
"Good. Now go away."
"Boy, will I ever!" (twirls cap on finger while speeding hence)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Ducks Unreal

"I cared until I found out they weren't real ducks."
"Yes, that's usually a hard blow to weather. Are you going to be OK?"
"Couldn't say. Too soon to know."
"Time will tell."

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Depressing Stuff #11-- Depressing Shit *Lite*


I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 11.


Just a lite version this time, because it's about time and you need to know what to avoid before it's too late.


movies:
All the Light In The Sky (haven't seen it, but the description is depressing enough.)
The Wolf of Wall Street (have seen it; depressing as hell.)

songs:
"In The Ghetto" by whoever

More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10 

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Depressing Shit, Part 10


I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 10.

Song:
"Live Free," Son Volt
pretty much everything by Son Volt, as far as I can tell 

TV shows:
"Southcliffe

 
...and if this article on child abuse doesn't obliterate your faith in the human race, I would like to congratulate you, and also stay as far away from you as I can.

Feeling down yet? Here's a song-- a little depressing, but funny:




More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9 

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.